Things have been busy. Actually that’s not true. I have just been sat here waiting for my life to pass me by. And so here it is. Here I am. Crazy in love with a married man. A married man who is my boss. Waiting for him to leave her and tell me that its me he wants to be with. I have tried to be cool, calm and collected but my feeling are just too strong now. He knows the deal. He knows that there is a time limit with me. That I’m not going to wait forever. I said that at the beginning but now, but between you and me, its way to late to go back from here. I keep saying that the only way is down for me really but he convinces me otherwise. He paints a picture of us living in this little house together. He’s even mentioned kids ffs.
I don’t which way to turn. I am so in love. That I do know. I am besotted and he fills most every thought.
I hate that I can’t even buy him a valentines card. I fucking hate that holiday. I have never had a good valentines. Its never quite worked out.
And I’m smoking again… The book says I have to continue smoking till I finish the book. I'm not finished yet so I guess its okay.